Wednesday, May 25, 2016

The Rose Petal

Last semester in art class my professor had compose a rendition of different things in our lives that make us who we are and give us a reason to keep living. He told a storyline of an Iranian film, "Taste of Cherry," wherein a man on the brink of suicide rediscovers the simple joys of life (like the taste of a cherry). Since then, I've tried to pick something during the day that I usually overlook but that brings balance to my life. I was stressed out of my mind as I walked to school to take a psychological statistics exam, my mind jumping from my academic inadequacies to health issues to worries about my family, when I was shocked back into the present by a rosebush. It looked like an Arizona sunset. I started to walk away when I felt like I should bring some of this beauty with me. I knew it would quickly wilt after coming in contact with my sebaceous oils, but I picked one of the petals off the grass and brought it with me to the testing center. When I was feeling panicky during the test, I would pull it out and smell it and feel its silky texture. This story would be perfect if I did well on the exam, but the reminder that there is far more to this life than keeping scholarships or being smart enough for myself was a Godsend.

Sometimes it's easy to get distracted.  In fact, it almost always is. Sometimes I feel like my same-sex attraction is a semi that I'm tailgating. I have to remind myself to apply the brakes so I can see the whole road and not worry about rear-ending the rainbow trailer in front of me. It is then that I can see the scenery: the mountains, rivers, and rose petals.