Monday, May 6, 2019

A Gay Mormon's Reaction to the November Policy Reversal

For those who are unaware, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints has altered the controversial "November Policy" released back in 2015.  According to the Church's official website, "Children of parents who identify themselves as lesbian, gay, bisexual, or transgender may now be blessed as infants and baptized in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints without First Presidency approval...In addition, the Church will no longer characterize same-gender marriage by a Church member as 'apostasy' for purposes of Church discipline, although it is still considered 'a serious transgression.'"

Over the years following the November policy, I have frankly endured a lot of persecution from those who disagree with it, and as a gay, active member of the restored church, I'm often seen as a sell-out (whatever). Many people even go so far as to blame me for the suicides of people who experience same-sex attraction and feel like they can't seem to make the Church work for them (I'll eventually get around to writing a post about how ridiculous this is as suicide is far more complicated than most people seem to think).

I remember well the day that the policy was leaked and the intense rage that burned across my social media platforms. When I first learned about it, my heart felt like a washing machine. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath as I imagined the hatred and anger that the Church would surely be the target of as its enemies now had fresh ammunition to mobilize. I knew that my life as a gay member was about to get a lot more complicated as this policy would cause many of my gay friends to question their place in the Church and the Plan of Salvation. The ensuing arguments on facebook seemed to last forever

This policy made sense to me as a similar policy applied to another divinely unapproved marital union, polygamous marriage. I don't like the idea that children of certain couples couldn't get baptized, but I understand why. The Gospel of Christ holds the Law of Chastity as one of the most serious commandments given by the Savior, and to be taught such doctrines while one's parents are in a relationship prohibited by said doctrines would be heart-wrenching.

I have not felt hated by the Church itself because I'm attracted to members of my own sex, even when the Church was urging us to support Prop 102 in Arizona to define marriage as a legal union between one man and one woman. I got far more hatred from some of the gay kids at my high school, who bullied me on camera because I wore a Prop 102 sticker to school. Many members, however, said insensitive things about gay people during this time period which made me uncomfortable at church and made my place in the Plan of Salvation more unclear, but I've always known that the Church is led by those who are called and directed by our Heavenly Father, as imperfect as they are. So when the "November Policy" was leaked, I really wasn't too upset, although I did feel sorrow for the children who wanted to join the Church but couldn't because of the choices of their parents. 

I have noticed a start contrast in the attitude of members from how they responded back in 2010 than  they did in 2015 to the policy change. Members have become far more empathetic to the pain of LGBT people in general, and especially to those who are members of the Church. Policy is different than core doctrine and is subject to change as the world changes. With the Supreme Court declaring gay marriage a legal right, the Church had to make pretty immediate changes. Now that the legal system has acclimated to this new union, the Church is also adjusting. At least, that's how I see it.

I know many people have been troubled by the idea that they could be considered apostates for entering into a gay marriage. As far as I'm aware, homosexual sex has always been grounds for excommunication. It almost seems less sinful to enter into a same-sex relationship if it's a monogamous one. If I were to try and justify the automatic declaration of apostasy for marrying someone of one's own sex, I would say that such a marriage is a permanent covenant that stands in direct opposition to the covenants made with the Father and those sanctioned by Him.

I appreciate the newest alteration of the policy on gay marriage because it makes bishops and stake presidents into judges rather than clerks, giving them more room for mercy and judgement based on the context/circumstances of the individuals involved. This definitely seems more in line with the Gospel in my humble opinion. 

Above all, I hope for more revelation on how the Lord sees same-sex attraction. It's so difficult to be a gay member of the Church because there is so much ambiguity involved. Is same-sex attraction a spiritual attribute or a luck-of-the-draw biological trait? How can we follow the Lord and have a happy and fulfilling life? How do we help gay people outside of the restored Church feel welcome and interested in the Gospel? I have so many questions and imagine I'll only acquire more the longer I'm on this road. I do know, however, that Russell M. Nelson is truly a prophet of God. I know it. A knowledge deeper than my consciousness speaks this peaceful truth to my heart, and I know that I can always trust him. Because of this, I'm far less concerned about whether the Church got it wrong and is backpedaling than some people.

I imagine I'll have more thoughts on the subject, but I thought I'd just put this out there for now.


1 comment:

  1. I always appreciate your innate kindness and courage. No answers here either, just a thankfulness for your kindness and wisdom.

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